Facebook is my new blog

After so many months of blogging drought. I have decided to revisit my old darling for an update (to clear the cobwebs).

I have realised that instead of blogging my views and rants, I had transition to an easier alternative: Facebook. 60% of the time spent on my lappy was dedicated to FB. All thanks to my not-so-cutting-edge-graphics card on the mac, gaming was limited to a measly occasional wahjong and some FB shenanigans (FB again!)

Why the transition? It’s simple. Simplicity! I can summarise my thoughts and feelings with just a few words, i get more views thru FB and there’s more interactivity! For wordpress, i normally would collate a few thoughts and experiences before i can blog about it. Too little makes my post a hasty job, too long makes me look like a book writer.

I’ve come to realised something, evolution has made mankind lazy and become convenient bastards. Here’s why:

(Chronologically arranged)

1. When people first started out to write about their experiences and expressions, they draw. Language was still non-existent and thus drawing was the only way to be heard (or rather, seen)

2. Language was invented. People started to write scores of books and journals depicting their thoughts. Very rudimentary but in vast quantities. Normally a journal will be written formally, with all the correct spellings and articulations. (see journals from the middle-ages written by scholars on various subjects)

3. Diaries come into place when the average jack can read and write and the availability of paper and writing instruments. Still very neat and formal, but less formal than the scholars. Diaries have become personal; from the daily rantings to major events that happened to the author.

4. As humans gets more educated, diaries have become less formal and a very personal thing. Formal writing will go to books and essays. Diaries are the author’s dirty laundry.

5. Ah… computers. This stuff made writing much more fun with typing. Some people started to type out their diaries and store them. (Saves paper and ink at the expense of electricity. Humans. Tsk)

6. Then blogging came. Humans are so so so attracted to the idea of voyeurism. That’s why gossips and tabloids sells. SOME people like being peeped at and thus, blogging was the platform for them to flash their life to the world wide web. Diaries are no longer personal anymore

7. Facebook/twitter. They simplified diaries to just a few sentences and the level of voyeurism has increased dramatically. Friends/enemies will be able to know what the person is feeling about just by searching their names.

8. The future: What lies infront of us? If you can see the pattern, humans are using lesser words to express themselves. So i guess in the near future (when we croak and our children walks this earth), diaries will be like this:

Ahkuei (16 Jan 2112):QOR347789.

What is QOR3477i89? In the future, all expressions will be summarized into codes and everyone will have the code book. So, Q3477i89 will prolly be like this:

QOR = I am so fucking angry right now that i can murder someone and drink their blood!!!
3477 = My boss just told me to work overtime because the deal that just came in was full of incomplete details. Now i will have to stay in the office to sort out all the details and hand over to him.
i89 = sorry guys i won’t be able to make it to the drinking session. Apologies!

Prolly my grand grand kids will have to attend a special school JUST TO MEMORIZE ALL THE CODES IN THAT BOOK!

This blog ain’t over yet.

My last post was July 20th. I have kinda ignored my blog long enough because facebook took up much of my surfing time. Whenever i want to blog and came into wordpress, my intended topic just went *poof*.

Happened to read a note on Sam’s facebook. Saw that rule #1 was to take the MEME once i open it. Itchy fingers.

Rule #1:
If you open this you take it.

Rule #2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.

Rule #3:
Tag 17 people. <—- I'm not gonna tag people. It's too troublesome.

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? : Yes
Q: Been arrested? : Yes
Q: Do you like someone? Yes
Q: Held a snake? : Yes
Q: Been suspended from school? : Yes
Q: Sang karaoke? : Yes
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? : Yes
Q: Laughed until you started crying? : Yes
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : No
Q: Kissed in the rain? : Yes
Q: Sang in the shower? : Yes
Q: Sat on a roof top? : Yes
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : Yes
Q: Broken a bone? : Can't remember.. was it a fracture? YES YES YES
Q: Shaved your head? : Yes
Q: Played a prank on someone? : Yes
Q: Shot a gun? : No
Q: Donated Blood? : Yes

Just be 100% truthful.

LAST PERSON THAT.

1. You hung out with? : Tryphena (doing project, arghhh)
2. You texted? : Jojo Baby
3. You were in a car with? : Ivan AKA Princess
4. Went to the movies with? : Dhani-san, Sam, Jojo Baby
5. Person you went to shop with? : Jojo Baby
6. You talked on the phone? : Jojo Baby
7. Made you laugh? : Tryphena (cobwebs joke)
8. You hugged? : Jojo Baby

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY…

1. Sun or moon? : Moon
2. Winter or Fall? : Winter!
3. Left or Right? : Right
4. Sunny or rainy? : Sunny
5. Where do you live? : Singapore
6. Club or pub? : Pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? : Yes
8. Do you want to get married? : Yes
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? : Twirl!!!
10. What time is it? : 2209 hrs
11. Are you afraid of commitment? : No
12. What is your greatest hope/wish? : Have my own Bistro
13. Do you cook? : Yes
14. Current mood? : I hate projects!

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU…

1. Kissed someone? : No
2. Sang? : Yes
3. Listened to music? : Yes
4. Danced? : No
5. Cried? : Yes
6. Liked someone you can't? : No

22 FIRSTS

1.Who was your first prom date? : I went in a group.
2. Who was your first roommate? : Hadi
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? Beer + Vodka
5. What was your first car? : Not yet, driving dad's one
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing? My Grandpa. Back in 1992 i think.
8. Who was your first grade teacher? : Forgot.
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? : Phuket, Thailand
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time? : 11, to play arcade!
11. Who was your first Best Friend? : Ah Wei
12. Who is your best friend? : Sam
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? : Jojo Baby (Grumbling time!!)
15. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsmaid? : Jason's
16. What's the first thing you did when you got up this morning? : Dismiss my alarm.
19. First tattoo or piercing? : Sadly, no.
20. First celebrity crush? : BOA
22. First crush? : Christina from Kindergarden. Buarhahahah!!!

Kelong!!!

Had a short breather over at one of the many Malaysia kelongs off the johor waters….

It’s…….

er……….

really back to basics.

No rooms, just bunkbeds.
No hot water, just fresh water.
No room service, everything self service.
No air con, plenty of sea breeze.

But it’s a helluva good experience for me… Kinda roots me back to my army days… But frankly speaking, Tekong was much cleaner… *oops*

Didn’t really do much fishing but managed to spot some lucky uncles hooking up some sotongs and sand sharks.

70% of the time spent was on photo-taking. Had quite a few splendid shots though! (will upload them in facebook, wordpress is too much of a hassle)

With that price tag, one can’t ask too much for tip-top service… well i’m not complaining!!!

Except for 1 thing: Why durian-eating-session of the many varieties of fruits?!?!?!?!

Important Shout out + Misc yelping

One of my friends at my previous job read the previous post and was disappointed (aw~~~ koo chi koo) not to see her name in the shout out. I actually forgot about her!!! I got too many to list i guess… Anyway, this post is dedicated to her!!! Sorry about the delay.. i think it’s around 2 weeks eh?

BRIANNA / BANANA / BRYANI / SITI

YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN!!! HOPE EVERYTHING’S WELL AT THE CC!!! KUDOS FOR KEEPING THE SL SO HIGH!!!

*Pants* Ok… so now for the misc stuff. Shall do it in point form coz i’m in the office and there are eyes all over the place to check on non-contributing staff…

- Welcome baby Alicia Lee!!! The very first offspring of the bachclub’s bloodline… hur hur… *points at members* Are we gonna be her god dads?

- Project’s here again… this time it’s 10,000 words. Obama bless me.

- still sucky with my photoshoot. Prolly because i’m still a noob in this field.

- Got myself a new pairs of golf shoes and gloves… PC classification on this coming wednesday

- Got myself another 8GB CF card. *Smirking*

- Gotten a few cool Microsoft bags for storage… *winks*

- My first trip to the Singapore Flyer. For the Popeye’s of coz!

- Gonna be 1 year this month end… Time sure flies like a rocket…

- Kee karr korr karr kee is coming out 24th june… Wooooo!!!!!

All thanks to Jason, I’ve finally gotten my hands on a Canon 400D! It was awesome!!!! This is like every guys instinct to get everything bigger, better, and more awesome-er. I call my camera the BFC.

Big Fucking Camera that’s what i call it. It’s a monster compared to those point-and-shoot types. Quality was monstrous too. Even though I’m still a rookie in photography, the exposures are definitely better than those of my Nikon P50.

Arr…. everything seems so delicate through my viewfinder now. I can ditch the beer away and ogle at girls thru the viewfinder. It’s cheaper and it’s bladder-friendly too.

Because of buying the BFC, my current financial situation is in the red yet again. Barghh. Now have to settle my debts ASAP to avoid any criticism from others.

With the BFC in my hands, my blog will be a much vibrant place than before. I realised that my blog had so little pictures that it looks more like a science journal than a diary. Too darn wordy.

Lately I’ve been missing out on alot of my friends that had given me so much pleasure, be it sarcasm or pure laughing session, I miss them a tonne!!! I actually have a list of those individuals that have not been contacting me as frequently as before and I’m gonna put them here so it will remind me of them. Friends are integral, they are the interest-free bank and my occasionally FOC transport provider (I’m being crude, ain’t i?). Ok Ok. Jokes aside, they aren’t any of the above-mentioned. They are my pillars of life, with friends, life won’t be that dull and retarded. Although occasionally our activities were indeed RETARDED. Friends make us feel alive and loved. Friends are priceless. For everything else, there’s mastercard.

So here’s the list:
Shelly (I wanna see the babies!!)
Nash (I wanna see the babies!!)
Ernest (Boobies conqueror)
Scandra (Crotch grabber)
Jean (Tongue-stud girl)
Julien (Ballet girl)
Charlie (Welcome to Yam-One~)
Benny Tan (All hail the clan leader of black knights!!!)
Kevin (Chiong CS ah!!!)
Dian (Hey sista!!!)
Shannon (Drinking mate)
Alex (Crappy classmate)

Just a shout-out; You’re not forgotten!!!

This blog is dying soon.

I was looking thru the wordpress account and saw the last entry was like a few months ago… Then it dawned on me. Whatever happened to the the typing-happy max?

Got buried with work. Got buried with school. Got buried with tonnes of stuff that requires my physical attention. Whenever i felt like blogging, God has his way to stop me from blogging by creating events out of the blue.

Me and my bud are finally in good terms now (although she did say that things won’t be the same as last time), i still hope for the best that this friendship will weather whatever shitty storm.

Did a good deed for my friend which i can’t divulge too much. Thought it’s the beginning of a wonderful season for me but in the end, the deed was deemed invalid because of the receiver’s foolishness. Disappointment sets in but I won’t dwell on it too much. What other people thinks of me is their own problem. I merely wanted to help but I didn’t expected that to happen. *shrugs*

It’s past 1 month and still, no sign of any confirmation of my job. I wonder is it because I’ve not been doing my job well or they are procrastinating my job to save on the benefits. I STILL HAVE TO APPLY UNPAID LEAVE FOR MC LOH. Tsk.

Schoolwork was hell. Although 1 project done, there’s still 1 more to go. It’s so different from a diploma. I still remembered that the lecturers would personally spoon-feed us with frameworks, tips, guidelines in doing a project. But this time round. Just the question. Just a simple and short question and I will have to come up with 3000 words. That’s degree for you. Nonetheless, another 8 more months and i’ll be done with school life. Time to study something else like japanese or german or bomb-making etc, etc.

Recent my brother bought a game as per recommended by the sales staff. DEMON’S SOULS it’s called. And it’s by far the hardest game I’ve ever played in my entire 25 years of miserable life. Their easy is like MGS4 Hard difficulty. If there were a death counter in the game, I would’ve rank first. Estimating the death count, I think I’ve died like 300+ times in matter of a 2 months. That 150 per month, then 5 per day. As time grew, I’ve found amusement in the type of deaths one can do. I would try all sorts of stunts to get my guy killed. It’s starting to get fun.

I’m getting sick. Blame the video game industry.

Of the death of Max

I thought I’ve always been a perfectly normal boy. Born in an average family with very loving parents. Although there were unhappy times but all of them wasn’t major. My life was close to being perfect. It’s not about financially perfect or emotionally perfect. Perfect in a sense that my family is a very tight-knitted family with no major issues.

Until I went for the course that my sister-in-law and my brother insisted that me and Jojo should go for. I was totally wrong. I do have issues, but i always chuck it one side and never confronted it.

I always thought I’m knowledgeable, I always thought that I’m a generous person. Wrong again. I didn’t know I was walking my life like my father’s.

I was ignorant. I didn’t know how to communicate. I didn’t know how to show my love for my loved ones. On the surface I may be having a good relationship between my siblings an parents. Deep down, there’s a rift. I was never a good son. I was never a good sibling. I was never a good lover. I was never a good friend.

But I’m not blaming myself. I’m not blaming my family for not teaching me how to do be a good son/brother/lover. Nobody taught them too!

During the course, I found a lot of negativity in me. I wasn’t willing to change because I think i’m handling everything perfectly right. Although i may have zero confidence but my head was big. I was a jackass literally!

I cried for 3 days straight. I dug out all my inner thoughts and confronted them. Although some still remain I’m still exuberant in finding a new leash of life. I’ve learned to how to come to terms with my life. How to handle disappointments.

I’ve managed to open my heart to parents. That very sunday was the first time I hugged my mom and dad. To think that I’ve been living with them for over 20 years! I could feel the misery they had. They really love us, just that they didn’t know how to love us. It’s from this single flaw that made their love became a nuisance. E.g. Nagging, beating, arguments, etc.

Learning to let go is a really huge step for me. I thought I’ve let go of my past relationship and embraced a new one. But I brought 2 things over from it. Jealousy and trust. I had none of it on my jojo. I would get paranoid if she were to go out and meet her guy friends. I would check her HP to see who’s calling or sms-sing her. I was being a control freak. But now, no more of such kiddo-style management. I’m an adult, and I should give my loved ones some space to breathe. Else they will struggle to break free.

I thought by confronting my buddy on a past issue head-on will be the best solution to save the friendship. Probably i was thinking too far ahead. I’ve tried any means to save it. I’ve talked to tryphy and brother, I’ve been thinking the issue in my head for months. All i got was dejection and further misunderstanding. She doesn’t know what i’m thinking, I will never know what she’s thinking too.

There’s no guidebook in saving a friendship. I did not attend friendship-management class. I know I couldn’t please everyone. Little did i expect that my greatest bud will misunderstand me that much. So much that my heart aches just to hear people saying your name. No matter how hard i tried i still get misunderstood. No matter how nights I’ve cried myself to sleep thinking about out problem, it’s still right infront of me.

I may have understand myself more than before, I may have identified the problems. But there’s still no solution to it.

Prolly I will need to go for the next level of the course to find out why.

I’m sorry…

Of me being chao lao.

What’s up with people nowadays? Don’t they need to work and do more constructive to contrirbute to the society other than being a cynic and a sour grape?

That above-mentioned statement was directed to those that like to give their utmost straight-forward remarks to another person without due concern. Worst part, they don’t even know each other!

I know that I don’t really have a kick-ass hairstyle as compared to the jap homies or those wax/gel/clay/mud-smearing hobos. Or a porcelain complexion that can rival a brand new car’s bonnet. But that’s what makes me unique. One look at my pimples or my old-school hairstyle, coupled with my trademark height makes me stand out from the crowd!

I’ve been getting so many comments on me being a “chao lao”(old looking face but still young in actual age) that it’s basically pushing beyond my threshold. I swear to all gods that the next time I hear such a remark in my face again I’m gonna flay that person and make a wallet out of it.

Chao lao is a disease meh? Everybody gets old eventually and i happened to show early signs of aging. ya ya. You guys look so young, even though you may be older than me. What’s the big deal? You and I gonna get CPF after a few more decades. Being chao lao cannot enjoy life meh? I’m unlike u guys, not sleeping in the wee hours of the morning just to comment that I’m not as youthful-looking as you.

You bloody fucktards. You guys merely enjoy the mere 3 seconds of ego-gratification eh? You feel good after passing off snide remarks of others you have absolutely no idea just to impress someone? Well, good for you, oxygen-waster. You’ve just enrolled yourselves into the school of karma!

More crude remarks in the middle of the night, more futile attempts to flirt with an attached lady. I will always pray you have youthful looks even when you reach 50. Because in the school of karma, every student will receive their due sooner or later.

Prolly you won’t have the chance to get married. As all the women will flee in terror that there’s actually a real-life highlander in SG. Women are so put off in getting a men who don’t age. It’s better off getting a tamagotchi. At least they an reset when the character sucks.

Or if you guys DO get married, your offsprings will be freaks like benjamin button. That’s a godly smite from the karma-gy. You will be a freak, your sons/daughters will be freaks and your wife will freak out for the rest of her life just to FIT INTO THE FAMILY. Even your house gives out the freakish aura.

So here’s a word of advice, carry on giving on snide/crude/sarcastic/racist remarks. The more you do that, the more points you will scored in the karma-xaminations. Get the top ranks and for sure you’ll get your rewards sooner than you can imagine.

I won’t give you guys any constructive advices, it’s just not worth it to let you guys know about it.T-rex-like-brain of yours are too small to retain any informations. All you do is shit,eat,sleep,criticize.

I don’t know even if you can comprehend what I’m writing at all. Prolly if you were to read this and go smirking around, saying “wow, this guy is funny.but what is karma?”

Douches.

Multi-purpose phrase

Last night while driving to the temple for the tee gong prayers, we were discussing the crudeness of people speaking hokkien on a date. Indeed it was really violent and crude but nonetheless we laughed our guts out when my brother was literally translating from my sentences.

E.g.
Max:”Hey baby, let’s go for coffee?”
Bro:”Eh, qing ai eh, ai kee la kopi mai?”

Max:”Where you want to go?”
Bro:”Lee ai kee tor lor?”

Max:”Let’s kiss”
Bro:”Lai, la chee!”

And suddenly my brothers brainstormed one phrase that will answer to everyone’s frustration. Instead of saying alot of stuffs in hokkien, all we have to do is to say this;

“KEE HONG KAN LA!!!!”

That literally relates to dozen to things like, “Go away”, “Get lost”, “Leave me alone”, “Shut up(if you say it loud enough it will have the same effect as telling that person to shut up literally)”, “Fuck off”, “You’re annoying”, “You’re irritating”.

I’m starting to appreciate the art of swearing in hokkien now.

What a leap!!!

Recently my sis-in-law went for a course that claims will unlock one’s potential. Being a usual skeptic, i was no doubt unfazed by it. Prolly some malaysian/taiwan MLM-spinoff, or so i thought.

But what a change in her! She and vanessa went for the couse and boy was it good. Their behavior changed 19238074823710 degrees. They appeared much more learned and matured(coz there’s no more nagging from tryphena, heh heh), and definitely they have grown after that course.

Catch is, the course ain’t cheap. It’s a whopping 1.7K for the 4 day course that was held at turf city area. I’ve been to that place. It’s really quiet and spooky. 2 elongated huts are the training area that resembles more like stables than anything. And those paintings on the wall about their course. It’s so freaking cliche that even my mom will spit on them.

But nonetheless, there are so many people in there. Most of them, whom i’ve heard from tryphena, are bosses, divorcees, senior management executives, lawyers, doctors…etc… Hmmm… this is getting interesting.

Also heard from her that whoever goes into that 2 huts for 4 days. They will DEFINITELY CRY THEIR LUNGS OUT. Not those sobbing and weeping when you are watching soap opera. It’s those big baby cries that we men usually classify it as GAY.

Crying was never in my dictionary. Yes i know, I’ve cried for stupid reasons and now when i think back, I wish I could bend over and fuck myself up pretty badly. Not those guys in there. THEY WERE ALL CRYING, CRYING IN A CORNER, CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, BIG GROWN MEN HUGGING EACH OTHER AND CRYING. It’s a very scary scene.

I didn’t expect my brother to go for the course either. Seems that he was crying as well. What i understood was somebody in that eerie room actually showed him what was bothering all these years, why he was such a jackass and how fucked up he thought his life was. Boy i would cry too. I actually need to pay 1.7k to make myself realise… erm.. myself? I sure will wail in disbelief.

Right, they are asking me to go. I have this burning desire to go in and take a look what’s it like in there. It’s nothing like those stupid seminars or training camps. I suspect there’s a monster in there that will make everyone have flashbacks(the kind people get when they are about to die) and cry like nobody’s business.

Tryphena said i don’t have to worry about the money, it will come.

HOW COME NO MONEY CAME TO ME WHEN I NEED A PS3 SO BADLY???????